Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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