wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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