that's an acceptable place to lick
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
