I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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