The brown eye won't let me do that either.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize