i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
