Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
