I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
