hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
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He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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