considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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