You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Randomize