I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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