i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
