Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
