We named our party play list daddy issues
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
