Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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