garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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