So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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