They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
