I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
