honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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