its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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