Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
