You're my little dorito
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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