Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
