physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
how does that bad decision feel?
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