im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
People in love make me want to vomit
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize