Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
