i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she smelled like a LAN party
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
