Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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