I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
