I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize