Heybabeimwearingurpanties
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
