omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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