She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
