i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
