Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
