Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize