respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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