Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
