try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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