When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I AM VODKA MAN
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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