Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
