Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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