god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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