dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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