i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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