people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
