Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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