you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
