he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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