I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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