Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
