Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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