That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i will never coherently bang her
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize