Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
