All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
