Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the day after is always just damage control
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
