My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He? As in you personified your dick?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
