just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
