Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
